True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am midnight drunk by noon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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