Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
