Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
