just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
