I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
