I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
