....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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