dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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