Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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