Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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