Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize