smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
