Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
