So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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