Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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