okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
