why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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