I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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