the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I came so hard my ears popped.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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