Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
