this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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