The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I believe in your delicious
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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