Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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