Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
