I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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