Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
