Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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