I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
