the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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