So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
