i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
