pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
