OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
