your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
