i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize