South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My ass is underappreciated
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
