the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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