i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
