No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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