i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's shark week go big or go home
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
