i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
