I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
nutella sex= disaster
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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