Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize