Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
