I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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