I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
