Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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