then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
