She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
