I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
