the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
