i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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