i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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