At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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