It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
