I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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