I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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