i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
