the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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