he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
