you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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